Man, I dunno what we’re going to do now that this pastor has discovered the truth about the Gay Agenda. I mean we’ve worked so hard at it…
Brace yourselves and gird your loins, true believers; I have some earth-shattering news.
I’ve long heard rumors of the homosexual community’s insidious master plan to contaminate and corrupt our sweet straight setup here, and one way or another, I decided I’d get to the bottom of it, once and for all.
As you may or may not know, I’ve been a pastor in the local church for the past 18 years; listening, counseling, observing. I’ve served at house churches and mega churches; at ones with pipe organs and ones with Marshall stacks; ones with wooden pews and ones with free WiFi. This vast and lengthy resume has given me unprecedented behind-the-scenes access to the hidden lives of tens of thousands of unsuspecting families. During that time, I’ve done some covert reconnaissance on our behalf, and the raw, naked truth I’ve uncovered? Well, it’s a game-changer, to say the least.
My friends, sadly I’m afraid that the horror stories you’ve heard on the radio shows, and in the blogs, and in the Sunday sermons are all-too true: The Gay Agenda is very, very real.